We had a really terrible day yesterday. Duke, the bigger of our two black labs, bit Charlotte in the face with no provocation. Charlotte is fine, but she has a small gash above her right eyebrow and scrapes on her right eyelid. Thank goodness it wasn't worse. I was sitting right there petting Duke when it happened. I guess Duke's anxiety finally reached the breaking point and his instincts took over.
We have known for some time that Duke is very nervous around Charlotte and we always vowed to watch them both closely. We tried to keep Charlotte away from him, and we are forever trying to teach her to "pet nicely" and not to touch the dog's faces. We also tried to correct Duke whenever he growled at her and we have given him love at attention both when Charlotte was around and when she was asleep. This event confirmed our worst fears - that we would need to get rid of Duke for Charlotte's safety (and for the safety of other babies who visit our house). Animal advocates might criticize me for giving up on Duke so fast without trying to train the anxiety out of him, but I can't imagine keeping Duke after knowing what happened. I wouldn't ever feel safe having my young relatives over to visit and could never have a playdate here. I certainly wouldn't take Charlotte to hang out with a dog who had bit one of her buddies in the face.
Duke was (and still is) a terrific dog for adults and older children. We love him dearly but recognize that he should be with a family that better suits his needs. Corey and I feel absolutely sick over all of this, but when it comes down to it, Charlotte comes first.
The silver lining of this whole mess is that Duke has gone back to be fostered by the family from whom we adopted Duke. They had fostered him for over a year before they gave him to us, and they watched him for us several times while we were out of town. He knows and adores them. They have a few leads on some great families without tiny kids who might be in the market for a big lovable lug like Duke. Thank you so much, Grace, Randy & Allie!
We are keeping Connie, but of course we will be extra vigilant. She has always been completely relaxed around Charlotte and doesn't even bat an eyelash if Charlotte gets a hold of her tail or climbs onto her bed with her. She certainly has never shown the fear that Duke did, and if she shows even an inkling of it we will take appropriate training measures or simply take a break from owning dogs for a while.
I feel horrible that I couldn't protect Charlotte. That's what haunts me the most.
7 comments:
Niki, you ARE protecting Charlotte. I'm so sorry for all the saddness yesterday. :( And, as always, you are STILL and ALWAYS my personal Mom Hero!!! (seriously)
I can only imagine how hard that must have been but Charlotte does come first. My mom and dad had to get rid of their two cats when I was born because I was allergic.
I am so sorry about this you guys! So glad Charlotte is okay and will hope for another very loving home for Duke. We all know how much he was adored by you guys and this decision is just what's right for all of you right now.
Niki and Corey, you did the right thing. It's amazing how there is just no question in a situation like that. Duke is lucky you stayed in touch with his foster family!
Lisa
You and Corey did the right thing. I will miss my doggie nephew, but I know he will find a fabulous home. Charbaby has to be the top priority.
Hey Niki - It made me cry to read your story about Duke; but being strong enough to do something that hard just proves what a great mom you are. And you probably HELPED Duke in the long run... his anxiety will be lessened and (I know his "dad instincts" are just as strong as Kelvin's) Corey might have lost it if Duke had injured her any worse! Perhaps you saved his doggie life ;-)
~Paula~
P.S. Don't be a bad mom later on (like me) and make CJ feel like she's responsible for you giving up Duke... I've given Andrea a guilt trip because we can't have a dog because of her allergies!
It was sad to give up Duke, but biting a child in the face (or anywhere else) is something Niki and I will not tolerate. I, like Niki, feel terrible that an animal we brought into our home did that to our child, but I, like Niki, am very thankful that it was not worse.
We lucked out that Grace and Randy were willing to take him back. It is nice knowing that he is in a loving home rather than in a shelter somewhere.
Duke was a good dog, but being a rescue, he had his issues, namely cameras and babies - both of which are a big deal in our house right now.
I worry about Connie - I do not have any fears that she would hurt Charlie (although we will continue to watch her closely), but I know how happy Duke made her. She is moping around now, and we hope she'll eventually learn that a baby can be just as much fun as a second dog . . .
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