How do you move on after a tragic loss occurs? It's hard to feel normal again and to resume the business of daily life. I'm trying the best I can to figure out how to continue caring for my family while we grieve, but there's no easy trick to it.
Neighbors like the Ballentines and the Marshalls have been wonderfully supportive. Ronnie has become an expert at getting Charlotte calmed down. She likes to slurp on his arm and then fall asleep. Charlotte and her little buddy (a doll I have had since I was her age!) have been hanging out together. I'm not sure if this doll ever had a name, but if she did it is long forgotten. We'll see what Charlotte calls her as she starts to talk.
Our sweet nephew, Zachary Evan Malahowski, born May 27, 2008, may not have had the chance to be with us for long, but he will always live in our hearts. Corey, Charlotte and I will never forget him.
Charlotte is now big enough and her neck is strong enough that we can put her facing forward in the Baby Bjorn carrier. It's more fun for her since she can see where we're going, but it's less fun for us because we can't see the goofy expressions on her face as she twists this way and that to (1) see the world around her, and (2) lick the Baby Bjorn. Yes, the apparently thinks the Baby Bjorn is very fun to lick and suck on. Now I'm glad we didn't buy a used one.
Today we took the dogs for a walk and I took a turn carrying Charlotte (usually Corey is the pack mule). We stopped to chat with our buddies Johnny and Lee, and Charlotte gave Lee one of her thousand-watt smiles. It's really fun to have a baby who will do tricks on command like that. We'll see how long that lasts.
Poor Corey has to work pretty much all weekend AND is suffering from a pretty nasty cold on top of horrible seasonal allergies, so we're not having much fun this holiday. We're looking forward to next weekend though, when Charlie gets to meet her Aunt Stephanie and Uncle Don for the first time. Charlie is also excited to see her Nana B (the "new" name for Corey's mom) and Granddad as well. Plus, it will be Charlie's first time on a pontoon boat on Center Hill Lake. She tried on her swim suit last night and I just about died laughing at how sweet and funny she looked.
We haven't taken many good photos this weekend, but here's a goofy little video Corey shot of Charlie Jo hanging out on her last morning in Portland last Sunday. Nothing ground-breaking happens, but she sticks her tongue out, sneezes, and does a tiny bit of the babbling that she's been perfecting these past few weeks. Again, the video doesn't have much in the way of a plot, but it has a great cast!
Ready to sit on the baby! Oops, I mean baby-sit. Apparently Charlotte was a pretty good baby until the last half hour before we got home. Modeling an outfit given by some of my favorite law student buddies whom I helped on their alumni golf tournament fundraiser. Sweet flannel quilt made for Charlotte by long-time family friend, Rosalind Hornbaker. Charlotte loves playing on it!
I just looked back at my blog and saw that I found out I was 1 centimeter dilated on February 12th. Charlotte wasn't actually born until March 10th, so we probably have a while to wait for Mr. Zach. I'm definitely not feeling very patient though, so I think I'm going to send Erin some watermelon and anything else that is supposed to induce labor. Too bad she doesn't like watermelon.
Tonight marks a big occasion -- our first night out with Charlotte home with a baby-sitter other than a grandparent! Our supercute soon-to-be-15-year-old neighbor, Faith Carol, will be taking charge (with backup from her parents, Alicia and Dan). Are Corey and I going out for a romantic dinner? Nope! We're taking part in a firm event for summer associates at a partner's home in Nashville. Maybe next time we can try for that romantic outing instead. Assuming we don't have too much separation anxiety. Hee hee. We know Charlotte will be in good hands though!
Charlie loved dancing with her "cousin-aunt" Abbey. Chris and Scamper kept DJ MJ company up on the stage. The view from the stage. Mom was a dancin' fool! The reception ended with a massive conga line. It was a great wedding!
Charlie's first dance with her daddy. Aunt Kim requested the first song she danced to with Abbey when Abbey was an infant. Teenage Abbey refused to dance, so Kim went it alone. We were treated to a reenactment of the Jack Rabbit Slim's Twist Contest from "Pulp Fiction". It was hysterical! I even got a little video of it.
But here was the bride and groom's real first dance, to "Ain't Misbehavin'".
There were fortune-telling fish on the tables for each guest. We tried to tell Charlie's fortune, but her hand was too little. She was wide awake during the toasts! Jordan toasted the fathers who spawned them. Instead of cutting the cake, they unwrapped some cupcakes before feeding each other. Charlie stole a few moments with the handsome groom.
The tables were gorgeous. Our place cards let the servers know what we would be eating. Jessica and Emma bonded. Jordan and Emma bonded too. The wedding cake was made up of cupcakes with goldfish on them.
The wedding itself was fabulous, and VERY Jordan and Jessica. The Compass Room is a room with a stage on the top floor of the Grand Lodge, decorated in a very eclectic style. Jordan and Jessica took that eclectic style to the next level with their "goldfish" theme. It was perfect. Vladimir, a friend of Jordan and Jessica's, officiated, and Dudley, Jessica's goldfish, played a central role in the ceremony. Corey was captivated. Aunt Toni's due date is getting close! Charlotte just kept sleeping.
Here's a shot of the room where Jordan and Jessica got married. It's also used as a movie theater (with different furniture). The "altar" set up was simple-- just Dudley, Jessica's seven-year-old goldfish, in a big bowl. Dudley made the trip all the way down from Seattle! Along the aisle were smaller fish bowls, each containing two tiny goldfish swimming around a vase of lilies. The Evans kids, all grown up! Too bad Erin couldn't be there.
After the rehearsal, we headed back out to the Grand Lodge for a pizza party with all of the wedding guests. There, Charlotte met more relatives!
Abbey, Jordan and I ate lots of pizza. Charlie met her Great Aunt Kim for the first time. Charlie's Great Grandpa Chuck instinctively knew how to hold Charlie to calm her down when she fussed. Abbey wants to come out for a summer to nanny Charlie like I nannied Abbey when she was little. My cousin, Emma, was great with Charlie! She will be a wonderful big sister to baby Audrey, due in July.
After the rehearsal luncheon, we headed a few blocks away to a park for the ceremony rehearsal. Looks like a scatter drill from my marching band days. The peanut gallery behaved itself. Chris brought Scamper to watch the action. The squirrels were none too pleased! Dancing during the ceremony?? Finalizing the details with the master sound engineer.
For the rehearsal luncheon (which we decided was a rehearsal for how to eat food at the actual wedding reception, because we clearly needed to practice and practice makes perfect), we headed into Portland to the Cadillac Cafe. Jordan and Jessica frequented the cafe while Jessica lived in Portland, and I believe this is actually where Jordan proposed. There is a beautiful private room glassed off from the main dining room, and it provided an excellent view of a 1961 pink Cadillac showcased in a separate area.
At the rehearsal luncheon, Charlie got to meet her Uncle Jordan and soon-to-be-Aunt Jessica, as well as her Great Aunts Mary Jane and Chris. The food was very good and the atmosphere was wonderful.
Great Aunt Mary Jane and Charlie were fast friends. View of our private dining room. I gave a toast to Jordan and Jessica (who is sitting to my left) also on behalf of Erin, who couldn't be there since she's less than a month away from her due date. We stuck decorations for the occasion in the potted plants at the center of each table.
Before all of the wedding events, we met up with Charlotte's Grandma Jo, Grandpa Spike, Great(est) Aunt Janet, and Great Uncle Bart. There was a restaurant right next to the hotel, so we ate a few meals there together and hung out around the hotel.
Grandma Jo was glad to be reunited with her little pork chop! Charlie was wearing her adorable overalls given to her by cousins John and Susan Scott. Greatest Aunt Janet (as she calls herself) changed several poopy diapers and was rewarded with one of Charlie's famous smiling and cooing sessions. You tell her, Charlie Jo! I think Aunt Janet was telling Charlie a silly story about when I was little. It probably involved poop somehow. After a vicious debate about whether a man's socks should match his pants or his shoes, we ended up in Target (of course!) to purchase new socks for Uncle Bart's wedding outfit. For the record, you should match the socks to the pants and the shoes to the belt (according to Stacy and Clinton on "What Not to Wear"). At least, that's what we convinced Uncle Bart.
We're back from our big trip to Oregon for my brother's wedding, and we have so much to post! Charlotte had her first plane rides (four different flights on four different planes!) and attended her first big family get together. She did remarkably well, and she's still too young for the change in pressure to affect her much. She was a good sport about getting her diaper changed (about 100 times, I think) and nursing at 35,000 feet in the air! Here's some shots of Charlie Jo in transit across the country.
I like flying fast! Racing from one concourse to another at Midway Airport during a super short layover. People movers are fun! Mommy and Daddy took turns holding me during the flights. Getting sleepy... Can you see the imprint of a button on my forehead from when I fell asleep in the Baby Bjorn carrier and rested my little head on Daddy's chest?
Our little family spent a wonderful first Mother's Day together yesterday. Even the normal weekend activities like grocery shopping and bathing Charlotte seemed special! We did take a special trip out to Arrington Vineyards with our good buds Alicia, Dan, Faith Carol and David for a little wine tasting. Kix Brooks was there again, and this time he pronounced Charlotte to be "bad news" (we assume because she will be such a heartbreaker). So that's Charlotte's new nickname -- "Bad News".
We had one moment of confusion and anxiety last night when we spotted a large, dark brown spot at the bottom of Charlotte's nightgown. After I pointed it out to Corey and we momentarily panicked, I sniffed it and determined that it was merely some chocolate sauce that had apparently spilled onto Charlotte as I ate my ice cream while holding her. Whoops. In our defense, it did look a little like dried blood or something else awful. After all, Alfred Hitchcock used chocolate syrup in "Psycho" to represent the blood in the famous shower murder scene. Guess I should be a little more careful with my desserts.
Here are some photos from our Mother's Day activities:
My cousin, Jake, is leaving today for Iraq. He's a firefighter with the Air Force, and we couldn't be prouder of him for that. We will be thinking of him often while he is overseas and we hope he returns home soon to his wife, Lauren, and daughters, Addie and Ella. Hopefully, their new black lab puppy, Callie, will be good company for the girls until Jake returns!
Today, Charlotte's Uncle Jordan (my little brother) turns a whopping 29 years old! Not only does he have a birthday today, but he is also getting married in a few short days to Jessica (soon to be known around here as Aunt Jessica). Wowza. That's a whole lot of excitement for one week.
Charlotte is very excited to be taking her first airplane ride on Thursday to Portland, Oregon for the wedding. She will have a chance to meet tons of my relatives and wear some pretty new dresses. Between the wedding photographer and my crazy picture taking, there are going to be lots of flashbulbs going off this weekend. We can't wait!
Here's little Charlie Jo wishing her Uncle Jordan a happy birthday (while wearing a sweet outfit her Grandma Jo gave her when she was still months and months away from birth).
Charlotte and I took Niki to the Loveless Cafe for an early Mother's Day breakfast. We figured that with a little baby, very early on Saturday morning would work a lot better than on a busy, busy Mother's Day. Apparently, we were not allowed to park Charlotte here. When we told Granddad Stringer that Charlie slept through breakfast, he texted back, saying: "For sure I would not sleep at Loveless!" Note the warning sticker on the high chair forbidding us from using it exactly as we were doing. This picture is actually for Granddad Stringer. These are two of his favorites - Charlie and Loveless strawberry jam. I'm smiling because I am about to put a yummy Loveless breakfast in my belly. Charlotte is not smiling, because, alas, she is not about to put a yummy breakfast in her belly.
Last night we tried something new - taking the dogs for a walk with Charlotte in the Baby Bjorn carrier. All was going spectacularly well for a while. Charlie was wide awake and looking all around without making a peep (other than the occasional coo). It was a nice change from the stressful walks where she sits in the stroller and absolutely screams as we make our way around the neighborhood.
Anyway, once we reached the spot on our route that was farthest from home, we heard a sound like sprinklers starting up. A few moments later when the drops started hitting our heads, we realized it was raining. Whoops. It was pretty warm, but we still didn't want to get the baby wet. We turned toward home and started hustling. Corey took off his shirt and held it over Charlie's head. He looked like QUITE the redneck/hipster combo wearing a Baby Bjorn with no shirt on. We were lucky no one called the cops to report the fashion crime.
We arrived home with a relatively dry baby (at least on the outside!), but she had definitely had enough of the walk and was squalling. Corey is very glad I don't have photographic evidence of the event.
It's all rainy and icky looking outside, so I dressed Charlie in a cheery romper to combat the gloom. Charlie likes the outfit, don't you think? Poor Connie looks sad about the weather though.
At the doctor's appointment on Monday, Charlie stared and stared at herself in the mirror next to the exam table. I didn't get a picture of it, but I did get this camera phone shot of Charlie and her "twin". The next day, Charlie Jo spent a good 45 minutes "talking" to the beautiful baby in the mirror above her attached to the play gym. She was convinced that she had made a spectacular new buddy. Here she is, deep in conversation.
We had a check-up at the pediatrician's office and Charlie got a glowing report! She is 11 pounds, nine ounces and 23 inches long. She's in the 75th percentile for both weight and length.
She also got her first few shots. Yes, they made her a little mad, but we were able to soothe her pretty easily. She got some baby Tylenol, and now she seems to be okay.
Here are some photos of her from before the appointment. She's between sneezes in the last one.
After the jaunt to downtown to see Daddy, Charlie visited my old office at the law school. She loves hanging out with her Vandy Aunties -- Angela, Kathryn and Lillian. Charlie urped on both Angela AND Kathryn. Lillian wisely stayed out of the splash zone.
Charlie visited her daddy's office for the first time today! She met lots of people and charmed them all. She was especially smiley for Corey's assistant, Susan (who gave Charlie the adorable embroidered yellow fleece blanket with "Charlotte JoAnn" and her birthdate embroidered on it).
Hmmm... I think a diaper change may be in order. Just don't get any poop on important documents! Showing her the sights from the 11th floor. Next time she comes, I think Corey's going to make Charlie do a little legal research for him.
